Here is my follow-up post in the forum about precious Nesta. To save from another re-hash, I have just copied and pasted it.
Well….I’m back. Been avoiding writing this for a day. My heart is shattered; I’m at a loss and I don’t know what to do. Nesta is in bad shape. How in the world this happened so quickly, I will never understand! All a sudden, he has two large tumors on his spleen, and several smaller ones on his liver. He has loose fluid and blood in his abdomen, which shows he has been bleeding internally. I knew something was happening, and actually I think I can even say that I know the bleeding must have occurred last Thursday night, when I could tell something was happening with him. The oncologist says she does not recommend any treatments from here, like chemo or even surgery. Damn it! What happened? We were doing so well. She says he has anywhere from a day to a month left in him. But how and when am I supposed to decide that? What is going to happen? She says this is very uncharacteristic of osteosarcoma to redevelop in the abdomen, but she has seen it before. She mentioned it could also be hemangiosarcoma. But we will never know without doing surgery. How can it be that such a healthy vibrant dog could get two different kinds of terrible cancer? She said in all her years, she has only seen about 6 cases of osteosarcoma moving into the abdomen. But maybe we are in that small percent.
Right now he is very dumpy. Being very picky about what he eats, just wants to lie around. Goes outside only to pee and then wants to come right back in. His belly is swollen and looks heavy. But it wasn’t like that last week!! I can’t believe this. How do you know when it’s time? I am still hung up on some miracle happening. I don’t want to just give up. But maybe Nesta wouldn’t mind that? Ugh. This is the hardest thing (besides loosing my mom when I was 19) that I have ever had to go through. I have regrets. Maybe I should have done chemo. Or maybe he would still be battling this anyway. I feel like I should have/could have done more. I know, I know, don’t feel that way. But its so damn hard not too! He is my soul mate, my best friend, the love of my LIFE. this hurts so bad. – See more at: https://tripawds.com/forums/treatment-and-recovery/need-advice-quick/#sthash.gpZ4WE49.dpuf